Expectations: When the Body Says “This Way Isn’t Working Anymore”

sacredsoulblossom
Jan 27
3 min read

Growing up, I was taught to plan for achievement.

There was always a next thing to reach for.

A next goal.

A next milestone.

What I wasn’t taught was how to pause. How to be present inside the moment I was already living. How to integrate what I had learned, celebrate what I had completed, or let my nervous system land after an accomplishment.

I learned to move forward without stopping. I carried that pattern into adulthood.

Over time, it showed up as high expectations of myself first. Expectations that looked responsible on the outside, but felt increasingly heavy on the inside. Expectations that asked my body to keep up with a pace it no longer agreed with. I didn’t recognize how unhealthy this was at first. My body did.

When Expectations Turn Into Pressure

This pattern showed itself clearly while I was planning the year for my homeschooled kids.

I was sitting on the couch, flipping through our public library’s event catalog. At first, it seemed simple enough...just browsing. But almost immediately, my body started tensing. I noticed it, but pushed through.

I kept going.

I was juggling logistics, time, energy, and responsibility all at once.

And my body began to lock up.

My hands stopped functioning. I had to put the pen and phone down and place my hands on my chest just to regulate my nervous system. When things settled a bit, I went back to planning. And then it happened again.

At some point, my body recognized what my mind hadn’t yet accepted: I was going to keep pushing through the pain.

Since choosing to live in alignment, I’ve learned something important; anything out of alignment will eventually ask for attention. If we ignore the subtle cues, the body gets louder.

This time, it went into full lockdown mode.

Listening Instead of Fighting

I was frustrated. Confused.

“This is ridiculous,” my mind said.

“It’s just a catalog.”

Once it became clear I couldn’t continue, I went to my bed and curled up. My thoughts spiraled:

This isn’t fair.

I have so much to do.

The kids need to eat.I don’t have time for this.

For nearly an hour, it felt like an internal tug of war; my mind pushing forward, my body asking me to stop. I focused on breathing. On sensation. On staying present.

And then the insight landed, quietly but clearly:

“I can no longer plan our lives the way I have been.”

Not dramatically.

Not emotionally.

Just true.

What Changed When I Adjusted My Expectations

I began reviewing what I was actually doing while planning. I noticed how much I was overpacking and overcomplicating the process. Expecting myself to map out an entire year in one sitting.

So I asked a different question: What am I being invited to do instead?

The answer didn’t come all at once, but it came faster than it used to. In the past, this kind of realization took months. Now, because I’m learning to listen instead of resist, the process is shorter. Awareness speeds things up.

Here’s what changed:

Instead of planning the entire year, I set a simple intention for that day: Just look through the catalog.

If something felt interesting or exciting for the kids, I circled it. That’s it.

Later, I transferred those circled events onto a clean page and grouped them by month, date, time, and location. On another day, I checked those dates against our calendar to see what was actually available.

One step.

One goal.

One check-in at a time.

I noticed how much pressure dissolved when I stopped asking myself to do everything at once.

Redefining Accomplishment

I’m learning to recognize one accomplishment in a day as enough...even if I didn’t do all the things I originally imagined. Adjusting my expectations of myself hasn’t made me less productive. It’s made me more consistent.

I follow through with less pain.

Less stress.

Less internal resistance.

And most importantly, my body is leaning to trust me more.